Guess this Story!

Goof morning, Has-Press Tribune! Oh, you make my day. I like to play a little game called “Guess this story.” Basically, you take the top headlines and guess what the story will be. Let’s start with Has-Press Tribunes “Most Popular.”  Guessing the author correctly gets you 2 points. Each correct “topic” gets you one point. If you manage to quote a phrase VERBATIM (remember, this is without even looking at the story!) you get 5 points. And finally, if you manage to guess correctly even ONE of the Comments on it you get a whopping 10-point touchdown. Go!

1. The Aafia mafia
Oooh, this one has the most hits. Imma say it’s been written by… George Fulton. It’s about how the Aafia issue has been politicized by the MQM, the JI, everyone. “Look at the other side of the issue.” Comment:
Zahid: there is no proof of her actions…. if US is convicting her then why is it so afraid of prooff…. dont u think???

2. For Musharraf’s Facebook fans
Ok, I know this was written by Ayesha Siddiqa but I originally guessed NadyaV. Close enough!
It’s about how Musharraf ruined institutions, put corrupt people in power, expanded the army, blocked the media, etc etc (again this is unfair b/c, shit, what else would AS say?)
Comment:
Erum: Ayesha thank you for such a clear and articulate piece of writing. We unfortunately have very short term memories when it comes to dictators. If only everyone had the kind of patience and tolerance for democracy that I do. Then again, not everyone is a UofC grad either. Pity.

3. ‘Nation will forgive Zardari if he returns its money’
Statement made by someone in opposition? First guess N/Shabby Sharif. Next guess Maulana Deisel. Third guess some PML-Q goon.
“We do not want to destabilize democracy, but Zardari is bringing name of Pakistan down, he has lost confidence of the people. He must return the money and we will be confident again. Failing that, we should burn Islamabad down.”
Comment: what about your own money mr politician please return it.. only army is not corrupt…

Correct answers:
1. Fasi Zaka (argh, so close!! Come on, he’s like a desi George Fulton, isn’t he?)
About – Giving Aafia a fair trial. (Completely off. doof )
Comment: pro americans would agree with the writer but none of them has come out with aquestion how she was sold. the culprits that is the sellers should be brought to the book and given exaplery punishnent. (ka-ching! 10 pts. This part is so easy. And so rewarding.)

2. AS
About – “After all, these ‘bad’ politicians are the only ones who are ever held accountable.” (1 point!)
Comment: Brilliantly Analyzed Report You Revealed Madm, I Agree To Your Concerns & Facts That You’ve Shown To Us. Thank You…!!! (yay, 10pts!)

3. Nawaz Sharif!! (Oh man, I am so good at this. 2 points!)
About – “He said the army should not be involved if the government does not implement the Supreme Court verdicts as there were other means of their implementation” (2 pts)
Comment: “Parvez musharraf waapas aao!
Mulk ko choaron se chhutwaao!” (10pts )

So much fun.